SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR TRAGIC LOSS, I KNOW FIRST HAND THE PAIN OF LOSING SOMEONE TO SUICIDE. OUR OLDEST SON TOOK HIS LIFE, ALSO WITH A SHOTGUN, ON APRIL 21, 2006. MY HUSBAND AND OUR YOUNGEST SON, KEVIN, FOUND HIM. IT HAS AFFECTED THEM BOTH SO BADLY. I PRAY FOR YOU ALL THE TIME, I THINK YOU DID A GREAT HONOR TO YOUR BROTHER WITH THIS WEB SITE. YOU LOVED HIM SO VERY MUCH, THAT IS CLEAR. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. KNOW YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS EVERYDAY. OUR MEMORIES LAST A LIFETIME, OUR LOVE IS ETERNAL. GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOUR WONDERFUL HEART!!
FIRST OF ALL, MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY AND CONDOLENCES FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR PRECIOUS BROTHER. I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN! OUR SON MADE THE DECISION TO END HIS LIFE ON APRIL 21 OF 2006. WE ALSO HAVE NO IDEA WHY? HE LEFT NO NOTE, THERE WERE NO SIGNS, WE ARE SO DEVASTATED! I KNOW THE WAY YOU FEEL, THE TIGHTNESS IN THE CHEST, MY HEART HURTS SO BAD AT TIMES I CAN HARDLY BREATH. A PARENT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BURY THEIR CHILDREN! IT'S JUST NOT NATURAL! WITH ALL THAT SAID, I DO HAVE A STRONG FAITH, I DON'T BELIEVE IT IS GOD'S WILL FOR ANY OF HIS CHILDREN TO DIE PREMATURELY! BUT WE DO HAVE FREE WILL. IT BREAKS MY HEART THAT OUR PRECIOUS DAVID, OUR FIRST BORN, AT THE YOUNG AGE OF 32, TOOK HIS OWN LIFE! OF COURSE, AFTER, WE FIND OUT THERE WERE MANY NEGATIVE THINGS GOING ON. HE LIVED ON HIS OWN, IN A CITY NOT FAR FROM US, BUT I SPOKE WITH HIM NEARLY EVERY DAY. HE CALLED ME OR E-MAILED, SO WHEN WE HAD NOT HEARD FROM HIM IN 4 OR 5 DAYS, I BECAME VERY CONCERNED, I SENT OUR YOUNGEST SON, AND THEIR DAD OUT TO DAVID'S TO CHECK ON HIM. MY GOD-THEY FOUND HIS BODY, HE ALSO SHOT HIMSELF, HE PUT A SHOT GUN IN HIS MOUTH AND PULLED THE TRIGER. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE KNEW HOW TO USE A GUN. MY HUSBAND AND OUR YONGEST SON SAW A HORRIBLE THING. I FEEL VERY BAD FOR YOU, ANGELA, BUT YOU MUST NEVER BLAME YOURSELF OR FEEL REGRET, I'M SURE CHRIS KNEW HOW VERY MUCH YOU LOVED HIM. LIFE CAN TAKE A TOLL ON PEOPLE, THEY MAKE A BAD DECISION, ONE THEY CAN NEVER TAKE BACK. KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS. I BELIEVE WITH ALL MY HEART, THAT ON THE DAY THAT JESUS CHRIST RETURNS, WE WILL BE RE-UNITED WITH OUR DAVID AGAIN. MAY GOD'S LOVING ARMS EMPRACE YOU AND GIVE YOU PEACE!WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER, STRANGERS, BROUGHT TOGETHER THROUGH GRIEF! GOD BLESS YOU, ANGELA!
CATHY GIRAUD (MOM TO DAVID)
Almost your birthday / Me It is still very hard to make heads or tails out of this entire situation. I miss you so deeply. It will never end, this pain in my chest, shortness of breath, presistent headache and heartache. I miss you so very much. I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday and all the other stuff you are missing. Everytime I am at the beach I think of you and know how much you would have loved it here and loved the natural beauty this place has to offer. I miss your soul Chris your never ending quest for adventure and spirit was one of a kind. My life is forever changed and always will be. I hate that all this has happend I hate that you are gone I hate it !!!!!!! I love you :(
Just a little note / Daria (None)
You have done such an awesome job with this site Angela. I look to it every so often to get some idea why your brother and my brother ended their lives the way they did but we will never have an answer. All we have are memories. Let's keep them alive!
none/ Ocean
Angela, I occasionally look at this site simply because it impressed me so much the first time I happened upon it. You have done an outstanding job honoring your brother I am sure he is looking down and proud of you!
Take care, Ocean
Hmmmmm/ Ang What a journey we have taken since you have been gone. I would love to be able to say it has been a learning experience I needed. But it is not so I will not lie and say as much. This is not something I needed. I needed my big brother here to share my life with. I was reading in TIME magazine that siblings shape your personality down to the tiniest details. It also said that they are the only people that are actually expected to continue and go through lifes entire journey with us. That being said I realized when I read it why I missed you so badly. It is because part of me my past present and future were torn from me. With out even a fight. The fight I had for you was so one sided. Why did you not join me and fight for you too!!! I am so mad at you today. I am so mad!!! I miss you so much. My grief is the same as it was the day you left. Only now I have more witts about me and realize the gravity of it all and am totally crushed and helpless. To think I thought people were right when they said this would ease with time. Nope not at all. It only becomes worse and more painful. I think I am easier reminded of you than I was at first. Seems like everything we do is a reminder of you. I guess it comes from being so close when you were alive. I dunno but some days it bugs the shit out of me. I can remember you clearly as clear as it can be. I don't want those to fade. I miss you so much and wish you were here to live life on with us all. It sucked before this and it sucks now but at least everyone could have gone through sucky stuff together. We could have you know!!!
Sharing our heartaches / Mary Ann Vaughan (visitor) Dear Angela, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts & feelings w/you. We are both (like many others) dealing with such a tragedy. I grew up in the church. I always believed the storys in Sunday School about Jesus. I knew him in my head, but he was not in my heart until my 3 day old baby (Jimmy ) died. I was 22 yrs old. I had a 3 yr old son & had miscarried. That made me want a baby sooooo bad. In March of 1966 my wonderful Grandfather passed away. In June we took my oldest brother to catch a bus for basic training in the Army. We were sooooo afraid he would be going to Vietnam. In Oct. my Jimmy was born & the day I was to leave the hospital the doctor told me we could not take my precious baby. He had a problem breathing. With in 3-4 hours they were rushing my baby to Vanderbilt Hosp. in Nashville, Tn. (4 hrs trip in those days). He died 2 blocks from the hospital. I had another baby 1yr - 4 days later. I lost my 69 yr old Mother in 1995 to Parkinson disease. Watched her suffer so. She was 17 when I was born. She was always my best friend. I grieved for her. The night Bryan took his life, I asked my boyfriend where is Bryan? He said I can't tell you, but I do know when Jesus was hanging on the cross, he told the THIEF he would be in heaven with him that day. My oldest brother (who preached for 8 yrs and is an alcoholic) called me & told me God does not forgive suicide. I hung up on him. Then I got to thinking. The only unpardonable sin is dening God. Bryan believed in Jesus. Jesus came to earth so we can be forgiven of all these sins we commit. He was tempted. He even ask God why he had forsaken Him while He hung on the cross. I do not try to force my beliefs on anyone. I will not argue religion w/anyone.(the churches have been doing that since the beginning of time). After Bryan died a girl told me about a book Embraced By The Light. It has a lot of dragging moments, but it helped me. If I could not have heaven to look forward to life would not be worth living. As Bryans brother wrote to him in one of his condolences that we are all on the same road. I don't mean to offend anyone by all of this. I hope it can help. My faith in God is what keeps me getting up each morning. God bless. You are always in my thoughts & prayers.
Just a summer afternoon / Carol Hensley (family friend ) One of the beautiful memories I have is the last afternoon I spent with you, Chris. We went to Johnson County to look at a car Gary had there. You spoke so lovingly about your sister, Angela. I remember thinking that I hoped my own sons loved their sisters as much. She would have done anything for you. The months leading up to your tragic death, she felt helpless, even though she tried so hard to save you. It was like she felt what was about to happen on some level. That kind of connection doesn't end with death. I know you two are still so connected. Send her your blessings and love often. You are the only one who can bring her peace.
you gave my ANGEL wings / Mary Ann Vaughan (visitor to site ) Dear Angela, thanks again for the wings & halo for my Bryan. I love seeing him w/them. When I read about your brother I can't believe how much it sounds like Bryan. I thought for a while I was doing better, but most days I could screammm. It's so unfair. I want my loving child back. How could he have hurt us sooooo much. We only loved him with everything we had. Everyone is still suffering so w/o him. I just force myself to get through each day. My joy for life is gone. I just go on for my other loved ones. I do long for the day I see my baby boy again. You are in my thoughts & prayers. God bless, Mary Ann (Bryan Storys mom)
Void that words can explain / Ronnie Flowers (Family Friend ) Angela, Just a quick note to remind you and your family that I'm here for you anytime of day or night! Chris was like the brother I never had to me and would go out of his way to help and listen to pointless chit chat! As I learned of this tragedy there became a instant void in my heart and hurt is so real for my sis Carol and myself.. Stay strong girly call me anytime you need to, and my arms are open always to lend a hug :)
Ronnie And Carol Flowers
"This life will never end in our hearts,our minds,and our lives.I'm here for ya bro' and your family!Love Ya and Miss Ya."
Experiencing the same pain. / Mary Ann Vaughan (visitor to site ) Dear Angela, I do think of you each time I look @ Bryan with his wings & halo. I also share the same pain. Some days I just want to give up, but I know Bryan wants me to go on & do the best I can. I'm some better than this time last year, but I just want to hear Bryans voice, hear her his laughter and hug him again. I miss picking up the phone & hearing that hey mom. Life is daily torture but I just keep reminding myself that I am not the only one going through this agony. Do know you're in my prayers. God bless you. Mary Ann (Bryan Storys mom)
in disbelief / Melody Fulce-Solis (friend from long ago )
I am still in dibelief as i read through the website. I cannot even imagine how this must feel to you all. My heart goes out to all the family. I found this site by accident actually. I was playing around on the web trying to find people from my past that impacted my life in one way or another. I googled Chris to try to email him and see what he'd been up to. Needless to say I was extremely shocked when this site came up. I regret that I will never have that chance to "catch up". Once again please let me say how sorry I am for your loss. Chris came into my life a very long time ago when we were both at the young age of 11. We met in fifth grade and even then he had such an impact on my life. He was my first "boyfriend" and we shared many special moments as friends all through middle school. I still remember him fondly. And I know what you mean about the phases of Chris. When we met he was a bit of everything by the 6th grade he was all skater boy. I think I still have the same picture that's posted for the 1989 year on this site. The last phase I remember was the cowboy Chris. The one thing that always stood out to me about Chris were his eyes. He had the most mesmerizing eyes that always made you feel comfortable like you could trust him with anything. I am very saddened by his death and will keep your family in my prayers.
hey chris!! its me , christy, jennifer taylors big sister! i just wanted to let you know that i think about u everyday and i miss u dearly!! i luv u no matter what!! u were an amazing person! u always kept me and jennifer laughing!! i will never forget u and ur precious smile and ur kind heart!! oh chris i wish u could come back! my heart aches! i luv u chris! ur friend and almost sister-n-law christy martinez
Thinking of you, Chris / Sherry Hi Chris, Just someone you don't really know that really cares stopping in. You and your family are ALWAYS in my prayers and I wish there was a way to make all this pain go away, but I know there isn't. For now, all I can do is be here to offer support.
My love to the family / Lisa (New Zealand) (passing by ) I never knew Chris, I read these sites to help me understand and to heal, from the tragic death of my 9 year old nephew. Wishing Chris peace and love.
Memories/ Ash All the memories I have of you were awesome. I was thinking today of one, it made me laugh hysterically and miss you really bad at the same time. She is right, your laugh is one thing that is truly missed. I found an old video of all of us doing our usual party thing by the pool and you were actually doing the filming in a majority of it, But your laugh and your country ass accent was right in the mic and it made me want to replay it a hundred times. I wish I did'nt take the times, all the great times I spent with you for granit and cherished them more, because life has not been the same and will never be without you. Holidays and summer time are pretty boring without you. I wish I could have rescued you in the last 8 months of your life. But I either had to be on your side or not see you at all and I would have chose being around you and keeping my mouth shut over not getting to hang with ya anyday. I guess it was just your time. Time has not helped much.. But sometimes the memories do. Everyone that I run into that knew you are always talking good about you and saying how much they loved you. I wish you would have known that... maybe that would have stopped what happened. Anyways, you've been on mind as usual and I had to get a few things out.
Til we meet again! Love you bunches Snapperhead.
just a passer-by / Brittany (viewer) As I sit here and read your story, it brings tears to my eyes. I don't know you or your brother but as i read your story, i feel the pain you must be going through. I just wanted to say i'm sorry u have to go through something so tragic, Angela. I'm sending a huge hug to you from GA and hope one day things will be easier for you although it may be hard now. Don't ever give up,girl. You have one of the best guardian angels watching over up. Keep your head up. I wish I could have gotten the opportunity to meet your brother. He def. seemed real. Agian, I'm sorry. If you ever want someone to talk to, hit me up.
Hi Angela / Sandy (Friend) From miles away and years apart we are connected by death. Honey I am sending you a hug that stretches across the cuntry. Angela I love you and you are never alone. It does not matter how people want you to grieve. It is your journey...and not yours to travel alone....I am here even though you can't see me! YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.....Joe and Chris brought us together and I am so grateful for that.....XXXXOOOOO Sandy
.../ Ang (Sister)
missin my brother too / Julie Lee (none) angela, i just came across your website somehow and it has really hit home. my little brother committed suicide on jan. 29 of this year. he would be turning 30 in a few days on march 30. All my life i was a mother hen to my brother. Always trying to save him from himself. In the end i failed, and the pain is the most awful i have ever felt. He left behind a 5 year old and a 2 year old, both little girls. They cry for him everyday and it rips my heart out. I know he had no idea the pain this would cause us. My poor dad found him hanging and he will never be the same. my brother was addicted to meth and it destroyed his life. He could not see a way out. But i begged him all the time not to take his self away from me. He is the only sibling i have and the only uncle my kids have. my son is named after him. His name was kacy. And i am missing him like crazy. thanks for listening. we are also in texas. i hope i hear from you julie (sissy)